Talking about the Rangers, unless I decide to talk about something else

Ballin

“We fly high/No lie/You know this/BLOGGIN!” – Jim Jones

One important item from Wednesday night: great job by the NHL and the broadcast team during the season opener to address Pat Kane’s sexual assault case. First of all, Blackhawks and Blackhawks fans, gross. You introduced an accused rapist by cheering him wildly and parading him down a red carpet. I understand innocent until proven guilty, but Jesus. Fuck you.

Doc Emrick gave an understated summary of the situation during the game but did explain that since no charges had been pressed Kane would continue in the lineup. Bob McKenzie (who, if you’re a real hockey nerd, is an absolute must Twitter follow) made an appearance during intermission to dig into the particulars of the sexual assault case and made absolutely no bones about the details. Whatever happened that night between Kane and the alleged victim is unclear, we may never know, and sadly the lack of transparent truth may cast a pall over the remainder of Kane’s career despite the fact that the truth might never be known except between Kane and the accuser.

I bring this up because if this was the NFL, the announcers would have mentioned Kane have an offseason where he “faced adversity.” Adrian Peterson beat his kid’s testicles bloody with a fucking stick and is being treated like a redeemed hero who learned a valuable lesson, despite publicly stating he thinks he never did anything wrong and doesn’t plan to change. The NHL is wildly flawed business, marketing, presentation, and really everything-wise. But at least this once, they handled something important correctly.

Anyway, I’m anti-rape so I’m a hero. Worship at my altar.

FRIDAY NIGHT GAME PREVIEW

The Rangers face the Columbus Blue Jackets on Friday night. Columbus spent about a year being the “talented young team on their way up” heading into the 2014-2015 season. They had several former Rangers and won the franchise’s first playoff game. They also fleeced the Flyers in a trade which saw the Jackets send RJ Umberger (always hurt and bad) to Philly straight up for Scott Hartnell (good and never hurt and for less money).

This offseason, however, Columbus became the Ma$e of hockey. They went from the no-question next big thing and hanging out with P-Diddy to spending most of their net worth on something dumb like David Clarkson and now they’ll be bankrupt and spend years in prison but will eventually be a preacher I guess I lost track of my analogy please help me I need to stop.

ANYWAY. Columbus kind of screwed their team up (CLARKSON) but they have good pieces. Ryan Johansen is a stud. Ryan Murray might be good but keeps getting hurt. Brandon Dubinsky is a pest extraordinaire. Scott Hartnell is a player Rangers fans would’ve killed to have but will instead be forced to hate to play. Newly added Brandon Saad, from Chicago, is a straight up beast who will be an interesting addition to watch now that he won’t be playing with guys the same quality as the Blackhawks’ top forwards anymore.

Columbus also has a former Vezina Trophy (league’s best goalie as voted by the league’s general managers) winner, kinda, who had an incredible season during the lockout year but has never been particularly impressive during a full league season.

They are the typical team that has intriguing and fun forwards that seem like a sexy pre-season pick until you get to mid-year and realize that your buddy Steve who was like pretty decent at hockey at age 13 might be their 3rd best defensemen and they won’t actually do any damage this year. Also, CLARKSOOOOOOOOOOON.

Fun fact: Columbus is in Ohio, which is a fine state to reside in if you hate yourself and your family. Ohio is like if Florida was cold and insane as opposed to warm and seaside year-round and insane. Exhibit one. The defense (prosecution?) rests.

PREDICTION: no

Predictions are dumb. Hockey, like life, is an encounter between 2 entities and the result will be decided almost entirely by chance. To predict would be a fool’s errand. I will not partake in such shenanigans.

RANGERS 42, CBJ 3

Let’s go Rangers!

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